Unashamed

I wrote this in the summer of 2008, 2 ½ years after going through some severe depression and anxiety for a little over 2 years.

Unashamed, Security, Comfort

Full of shame, full of guilt, full of sheer and utter confusion. No place to run to, no place to hide. No comfort, no assurance of anything. Flat out no security. The only place I could imagine being was somewhere in a cold forest, hiding under a cold rock, pressed against the cold soil. The enemy enjoyed pointing out all of my failures, and all of my selfishness because I did not want to surrender my whole life to God the Father. Why would I want to give up? That’s what it was going to be. I would be giving up control of my life and I was so scared to do that because I did not know what the outcome would be. Running my own life, I at least thought that everything would be okay. If I was stuck in this rut, and surrendered it all to God, but then was left in the rut, what would I do? That was a question that I did not want to know the answer to. If I kept the reigns in my life, then I at least knew that I could crawl out of the ditch for a little while. Plus, I was too scared to see Your reaction to me giving You my whole life. I was searching for grace and forgiveness, but fearing rejection from Your mighty hand. My fear of what Your reactions would be to my request of grace and forgiveness lead to even more shame, more fear. I was handing the enemy more ammunition and he was gladly accepting it because he knew that I had lowered my shield of faith and I was defenseless against the fiery darts and the nasty lies that he was so ready to use against me.

All of that, ALL of that was taken care of at the tree. Christ took all the shame; Christ took all of the guilt, fear, nastiness and filth. Christ did everything to take away all my rubbish. Because of that fact, I can come before the throne of God the Father with boldness. I can go to the throne of God without shame, guilt, and fear. Nothing can hinder me from speaking to God the Father through Christ Jesus. I can come to the throne of God unashamed. I have security in Christ and what He fulfilled on the ragged tree. There is comfort at the throne of God. Comfort and not pain. God the Father, in Christ Jesus grants me the opportunity to come to Him and live in victory. Being full of shame and guilt is defeated in the act of Christ Jesus dying on the tree. I can have security in Christ. No, no, it is not “I can”, I DO have security in Christ. No shame! Secure! Comfortable! I can come to God the Father and not fear His reaction to my petitions and requests.

Victory! Victory! I can live a life free of shame, free of guilt, free of anxiety, free of worry! I can come to the throne of God unashamed, totally secure and unbelievably comfortable.